So, my ship is now in Newport. This is great. Not only is Oregon one of my favorite states (after Idaho and sometimes Washington), but Oregon is also the site for one of my fondest memories, which in my twisted little brain often goes hand in hand with one of my least favorite memories.
To truly understand this paradox of emotion, we need to take a vacation together to a time when your fearless young historian was not a historian yet, but a lowly high school graduate, fresh from four years in high school and getting ready to go to the big scary city of Spokane to live in this strange pinecone bubble called "Whitworth"...
"Our curtain opens as the young historian-in-training and her beloved family begin a roadtrip of epic awesomeness. The five of them all pack into a Chevy Astro van, with grandparents Geebee and Papa in tow.
The plan?
To roadtrip along the Washington/Oregon border and then to roadtrip down the Oregon Coast, hitting up all the awesomeness that is possible (including a dip into California for some Redwoods!) Lincoln City, Seaside, Newport, Goldbar, Roseburg, the Dalles, Crater Lake...this was the vacation that only happens every so often. They did all the cheesy touristy things, went whale watching, and ate so seafood it was almost disgusting.
(This had nothing to do with my graduation, it just happened to fit there with timing)
After this epic trip, our little historian packed up for her freshman year, living in Baldin-Jenkins & Akili. Her family drove her to school, and after spending some time with them, they left her to met new people (people she would learn to love and love to learn with) with the promise of phone calls and the thought of Fall Break coming, Parents Weekend the weekend before (for you see, our intrepid adventurer had no car).
But. This was not the case. Cancer, that blight that has plagued so many families and doesn't care how much you love your grandmother, reared it's ugly head (again). The doctor Back East had made an error, and the cancer had mutated. But the doctors were as sure as you can be that this would be beatable.
So our historian was at school, and her family was chemoing (is that a word? I don't care). But the thyroid cancer had mutated, and won this particular battle. Our heroine was picked up by her father, brother and sister with the news that her grandmother was dying and she needed to come say goodbye.
This was one week before parents weekend, and our heroine has never been as happy-go-lucky since that day. The guilt; that senseless, irrational feeling of guilt for not being there and for being able to go back to school and ignore her feelings; required quite a bit of prayer to overcome, and even then, there comes a terrible fear of not being able to say goodbye.
But our heroine, through the Grace of God and the love of family, knows that she needs to keep living her life as the woman God wants her to be, that the best way to honor her Geebee is to keep going forward (she doesn't want her grandma swearing at her from heaven!-which is where she is) and living life to the fullest, like Geebster did."
So that, dear reader, is a very abridged account of that vacation and the following fall. I know it's hooky to write that way, but I did it anyway. Deal with it :)
When we got to Newport, I was immediatly reminded of that roadtrip, since the ships are docked right across the street from the coffee shop we ate at, which is right next to the Wax Museum and Ripley's Believe It Or Not, where we spendt a lovely afternoon.
I was so excited to get to Newport because I had all of those wonderful memories of that last summer spent with my grandmother, because I remember having a blast on that trip.
But then, I thought about the fall. And things kind of went downhill.
After talking to my mom and a friend on the boat, I was determined to only think of the good stuff. So today, on my day off, I went to all the places I remembered going, the cheesy and corny and awesome Ripley's Believe It Or Not, complete with plenty of jumpscares, the Wax Museum, which was awesome in a terrifyingly creepy way (I blame my sister for making me watch House of Wax) and the quite cool Undersea Gardens, and well as the cute little coffee shop.
I got some shopping done for my brother and sister's birthdays, for Mother's Day (I wanted to get something good!), for my grandparents and began my Secret Father's Day Awesome Present Operation.
Wish me luck.
While I've been in Newport, I have been trying to form new memories and focus on the good things that happened last times, focus on the happy things that happened that year, not the crappy hard things. Though, the crappy hard things that have happened to me are part of me and have shaped me into the woman I am today. I believe that God uses the crappy things that happen in my life to teach me and to shape me. Am I implying that He causes these things?
HECK NO!!
Causing and using are two very different things. End of Daily Deep Thought.
Like I said, my Newport goal has been to focus on the good, not the bad. To focus on the summer and not the fall (but dang it Game of Thrones, I keep thinking "Winter is Coming").
To focus on the good and the things that bring joy, so that I can be a better window of my Savior's love and joy to the world.
Coming to you live from Newport, OR, Bailey out.
PS Nerd Alert. At the wax musuem they have a LOTR room. It's kind of awesome, though not as accurate to the Jackson movies, the characters don't look bad if you go by the books.
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