The Ashley Wilkes Effect

This is the part where you all realize that I read too much. I was thinking the other day about my various romances (or lack thereof) and noticed a trend. I'm pretty sure that they all liked me at some point, but never for as ling as I liked them. Also, most of them went to to become happily married or long-term relationshipized.

What, you may ask, does Ashley Wilkes have to do with anything?

Well, dear reader, I will tell you.

Ashley Wilkes is the name of one of the most obnoxious man in literature, the Southern pansy for whom Scarlett O'Hara held a long-suffering and burning passion for, despite Rhett Butler's attempts to win her in Margaret Mitchell's classic "Gone With the Wind." This is a gorgeous movie and an amazing book. Actually, great book and great movie (and you will almost never hear or read me saying that). Also, this is a great movie for when you're sick. ALmost no need to ever change the tape.

But, moving on. Ashley Wilkes (AW, from now on) was the kind of guy that we all know is bad news. Not because he's a bad guy; he's actually a great person; but because he's so wishy-washy. He can't decide how he feels about Scarlett and once he does, he doesn't want to tell her.

What?

I feel like there's a time and a place to be a gentleman. This isn't it. Letting down gently, ok. But not saying the obvious, continuing to lead her on a bit...

Oh yes. That happened. We all know that Scarlett is better off with Rhett or even Frank. We all know Ashley's a wuss. No one wants them to be together. But we can see why she's confused. It's glaringly obvious that it's not going to work. But we can see why she's confused. It's glaringly obvious that it's not going to work. But when I watched it last, I understood her confusion. Do I still find her a spoiled, selfish, awful character who I love because I hate her so much? Of course I do. But does she deserve to have her heart wrung out? No. There were times when AW could have and should have cleared all the problems up. Times he should not have kissed her, things he should not have said. A few words would have cleared everything up. But no. He doesn't.

Looking at my life, I tend to notice that A) No Rhett Butler has some to sweep me off of my feet (I don't know how I'd react to that) and B)I, like Katie Scarlett O'Hara, have a thing for the AW. No, not a thing. It's just a thing that keeps happening to me. Either he's not interested at all or not enough to make anything happen or and/or is too polite to disallusion me. You know how you're 96% sure of something, but there's that lingering 4% that you're not sure about, which then throws that 96% into question? Yeah, that's what I mean. It makes me doubt that 96% that I was sure about just two days ago.

And that, my friends, is what I call the Ashley Wilkes Effect. Men so concerned with being polite or just so oblivious to the way women work that they send mixed signals. This confuses me, at least. So guys, cut it out.

FYI, Ashley Wilkes of the world, I'm done with you. And not just because you're a fictional character.